Friday, January 29, 2010


"Yeah just park her in there... Pleeeenty of room. Just watch the Kelvinator. That's it. Nose it in a little further so the door will shut... yeah mate, it's automatic." Less than 10 seconds later we were sitting in my neighbours garden across the street. The Toyota Crown is a write off!!! And the old Kelvinator... well you know how bloody strong those things are... the door's been ripped clean off it! "Shit mate, what happened?!?!" I'm not gonna name names but me mates gettin old that's all. Well that and we'd just been listening to this. He was all spooked out. All frazzled and you should of seen his boots!! They were always gonna get stuck, weren't they?!

I can't replace the old Toyota Crown or the Kelvinator but by golly i'm gonna get myself a new roller door for the shed - yeah mate, one that's automatic.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Late one Saturday night...

Hey Shags...Shags?

Is this what you saw late one Saturday night?

Takin care of business

Holy shit BV. What happened here? Ive only been gone for 3 weeks.. The place is a mess. There's mop hair everywhere which suggests to me you've tried cleaning....

My god we have some serious work to do here before this place is in any state to start bringing in business. It's like the year has started over again, which it has, and we havent done this for a while, which we havent....

Screw gettin it right, screw havin a plan, bugger stressing if it's gunna work or not....

Lets just get in there and start fixin cars!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Shit. Ive got this weird thing where me thigh goes 'pulse' and me neck goes 'snap'. One after the other. Any ideas? Is that common?

I mean I been away as BV mighta told ya and I saw some serious shit.

Real fat people who live up north mate and barely move except for takin the odd photo.

I saw blokes wearing lime green who were so god damn sinister after just two beers I feared for my life and my body.

Oh yeh I was talkin to pricks who said they couldnt understand a word I was fuckin saying.

Oh yeh, I mean I had people who'd named themselves after sesame street characters who had so much fuzz on their face I couldnt see the wood for the trees.

Thats right I saw young men so desperate for affection they'd spend every evening with each other. And they want Isaw Isonn to feel bad for 'em else they wanna punch me lights out? No fuckin way mate. Not I. I just pay me fine and move on.

Oh so ya did your fuckin knee did ya? Right when you was about to be drafted? Didnt we all....Havent we all had a late night with Timmy and he told us he'd never forget us?

Come here...come in real close porky fuzzface and listen....Not only did he forget who or what you are...he never wanted to be there in the first place...he just had to collect his cash.

Pulse...Snap...There it goes again.

Look forward to getting back into our workshop. BV said it's a mess.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I am so sad

For real. I am so sad. A friend told my ignorant ass to read these letters from the coal creek mining disaster in 1902....This is a letter written by one of the victims as he lay gasping his last breath of air.

Isaw is back but he's not very happy about it. He's not happy one little bit about anything.

Monday, January 25, 2010


Mate, I'm back! The holidays are over! Check it. I found myself doin the old boot scoot on the weekend. The old side swipe. Tip tap toe. Pie dodge. Left shoe shuffle. Non stop. The odd head bang. A head bang with a smile.

Yeah, it's back to business here at Smi... Hang on a minute... where's Isaw? Boss? Boss? You sweet?

Friday, January 15, 2010

The Junkyard

It's a funny old time of year for us here at Smiley McSlidey. We use January to get back to basics. The leaf's back in the radio and whilst I've been spending most of my days playing two up Isaw's been up north keeping his eggs tidy hanging out with old Crackers McGee!!!


Oh Crackers!

Oooooh. Is he? Ooooooooooooeeeeooooohhhhhhh...

Friday, January 8, 2010


'I sat belonely down a tree,
humbled fat and small.
A little lady sing to me
I couldn't see at all.

I'm looking up at the sky,
to find such wonderous voice.
Puzzly puzzle, wonder why,
I hear but have no choice.'

JL 1964

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Take me to the hospital

I've been cryin for days. Oooooo ooo hoo hoooooo. I can't stop.

They tell me I might have a hair wrapped around my little toe....?

I'm sick.