Friday, March 26, 2010

Buzzy was a buzzborne

Sacky two shoes? Chippy tweasels? Casty niglate? Jeppy sidesway? Lista Bullista? Flexy Moron? Jippy Wideberth? Selly Dignut? Foolistie Bangabist? Cherry Lipwart? Flavour Froggywoo? Jella Bisconte? Cappy WooWoo? BitenMicha? Larte Fulworthy? Batch of Nidisarate? Elspen Workatit? Boddy Nature?

Nah fuck it mate. Click here cunt
--

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My neck has changed shape. x

My neck has changed shape. Perhaps my head so full of thought and worry became lopsided and it's tweaked my neck to the degree it's actually changed its course.

Remarkable and remarkably painful.

BUT....you should see BV. He cannot stop chattin. I saw him at the workshop last night and I was lockin up and seriously BV was cackin away to himself bent over ol wrecks for a good 15 before I even tuned in.

Somethin about tweety birds, hurt me feelings, make ya cry, im comin to git ya and all that jazz.

I looked up and mate you shoulda seen him. Frothin mate! Frothin like an ol cane toad. Cackin his pants mate like an ol man. Clever with a spanner? You betcha.

So anyway Ill see him for sure back at the old workshop which has a little problemo with micey mouses and I hope to god he is still chattin. Chattin about this and about that mate. Clickin his spanner at his hips and spinnin like a top.

We got some serious stampin to do at HQ people. So swing buy for a cuppa or stick ya ears in through the cage and listen to ol Bombed Viallge cackle. Singin like a bird.

Sickle

Friday, March 5, 2010

The sting within

I do not want to be a killjoy. I do not.

For it is Friday afternoon. Friday afternoon is where bitches and bastards get together and celebrate what has been a shit week by planning to go get loaded, waist all the cash they have slaved for, only to come back on Monday, starved, dehydrated and lost, having sold their soul to the dark one many times over.....

Friday afternoon is better than it's night and Saturday night put together. Is it not? It is.

But this Friday afternoon Bombed Village and Isaw Isonn are not celebrating. They are hurting. Hurting from the sting within.

The sting within.

A pain that is sharedth is a pain worth knowing (Alsatius, circa:1739)

Knock over a can for us will ya?

Hey BV?

Fuck it mate. Im gettin loaded to the nines.....

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Oh that's very nice indeed....

Me neck's gone snap. Did it this morning in the shower...Ooooooo what a pity. What a shame!

Two Voltarin down and the rest of me body is completely chilled but me neck....? Na mate it's pingin off its head! Threatin to blow out all together.

Rode to the workshop this morning and hit three parked cars, one old cat and a roadworks dude. Cant look up.

When I get there BV says, mate why's ya noggin flip flappin like that?

Cos I cant find a nice comfy spot for it to rest, I tell him while I stare at the oil slick in front of me.

You want some salami? BV's always got the goods.

Hell yeah biscotti! Dried and old?

Dried and old Isaw. Dried and old...

Oh that's very nice indeed....

Hello?

Ohhhhh....OK?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

smiley mcslidey rehearsals

What? Yeh....

smiley mcslidey has built a rehearsal room in East Brunswick for your band out the back of our workshop.

What? You wanna rehearse there? Well fuckin email us. smileymcslidey@gmail.com

We'll give you a room. You'll love it.

Snaffle

Monday, March 1, 2010

Trapped by traffic

Hey mate. I woke up angry this morning. Like day three of a hangover but nothing's past these lips. Nothin but cheese and mustard.

I'm furious at the fuckin keys that wont hang up like they should.

The fuckin dishes mate that keep threatening to engulf me. Not to mention that Im obsessed with the dishes. I do em now even when they dont need doing. And I talk to them like they've got feelings. I say....you're a fuckin cunt medium sized saucepan with your dried shank soup on the hard to get too lip. Yeh?!...You wanna conceal your germy little self from me do ya? Yeh...?! Well how do you fancy being scrubbed to the bejusus with old stinky steel wool?? Ha! How do you like that? Yeh thats right Isaw Isonn leaves no dish unwashed. He fuckin wins.

What's that keys? You dont wanna hang up properly? Ill fuckin throw you hard into the couch mate and muffle ya cries.

Gotta get some milk? Took a short cut only to be cut off by traffic? What? What the...? Was that dude lookin at me laughin cos he knows I got trapped by the traffic. Ill fuckin chase ya down and scream at ya with wild eyes. Hey?! Scream at ya, ya crazy lookin critter.

Ahhh fuck it you win mate. Every way I turn there's some fuckin element, inanimate object waitin to give me a hard time.

Ive had it.

I really have.