Monday, July 19, 2010

Yeah, Na...

I love hearin good news. Doesn't everyone?

Na, been cheered up heaps. Specially with all the bullshit goin on at the moment.

Yeah, can't wait till next weekend. Should be heaps of fun.

Na, thanks heaps n heaps for the good news. Lets hope from now till next weekend goes really really fast.

I love it.

Hey, got any Nirvana on ya?

Friday, July 9, 2010

My little terrier.

Ok mate....


Ive got $3.83 right?


I need meat and cheese yeh?


So....Im walkin down the aisles yeh?

Uh huh. Go on.



And I grab stewing meat for $1.80 (urgent sale needed). Meat is on the blue side.

I see.

And then I spot Kraft Singles, but they arent Kraft at all....on special for kids bones....$0.90....

Done mate.

You'd think so....In the distance glowing like a rock I spot the mother of all bargains....Cheese and meat combined.



Shags! I never. What did you do?

I dropped me singles and steak to the floor and pounced upon my own.

By own you mean rissoles with a cheese center?

Never a truer word spoken my friend.


I took them home where upon the cooker I did place and burnt them to a crisp lest there be an infection amongst their numbers...


And my little terrier...I ate them center and all.

The quality?

Terrible my friend. The cheese was that of a young boys sneeze and the meat was telling lies.

How so?

It were not meat at all but something built of glue.

Oh Shags....

Oh my little buddy.

(Long pause.)

cash grab?

Let's do it.

Cash grab!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Lick a snake cake

Finished it all of with a kit kat mate..

A kit kat?

Yep mate. Now me guts is full of all sorts a goodies. Ooooo mate. A
little capernicus, a little jimmy ju ju and the mother of all

Oh Isaw Isonn you are a gator raple.

BV? What you say giddy gie gie?

Licky what chap?

Say bout me widdy woo wup?

Oh mate I say to you mate about your guts within.

Oh I am sorry Bivvy Whacknow. I thought you do make a sample mate...

A sample of the good one Simmy?

Simmy. Ha! Beauty Form.

I know I couldnt believe it mate. Straight before my eyes. Like a snake.

Jisu! Like a snake.

Lick a snake cake. Make me one.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Hello mate.

Hello mate.

How are you mate?

Very good thanks mate. How are you mate?

Yes very good mate. Thanks mate. How are you?

Good thanks mate. Thanks mate. Ahhhh....Listen last night I saw a women in a singlet gripping a can of lager and ahhhh...Listen mate. It was cold. A wind with a severe chill in it was a howlin and a blowin...Bringing the boots of cars down onto the heads of men no less...

Jesus mate. And you say she was only in a singlet?

Yes mate. Scared the pants right offa me mate....She was ahhhh inquiring as to the whereabouts of Bell St mate?

Yes mate? Go on...

Well mate I told her she was miles off and she gruffed at me mate.


Yep...Straight at me mate. Gruff. So I pointed out the bend she needed to round and off she mosied mate as if it were a summers night down at the boulevard. Her forehead angry as a dwarf...

Mate. That night was cold I tells ya...

Yes mate. I remember.