Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Perfect Bong Song

Im all about smoking giant cones at the minute.

Cant stop talking about it.
Every time I go to speak, I just mention
sucking down haystackers, blowing all night on bongs.

I havent touched one in years and if I did Id green out and find the nearest
fruit bowl to chunder quietly and shamefully into.

Yeh...I remember once at this party near the Lilydale train line (that's all I got)
where Id sucked down a giant one to impress a boy that had girls eyes, I went
all fuckin wobbly and sunk deep into my own brain and started screaming at the boy-girl
until a number of party goers carried me outside and left me to regather myself in the agapanthas...

Turns out all Id smoked was grass cuttings....Literally

Anyway bongs are not for me. But it's all about the rhetoric...

What re you doing tonight mate?

Fuckin going to the cubby and suckin down big cones all night bro.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Shelley Short at SMR Sunday

One last time:

Shelley Short at our joint from 12pm with a big bunch of crew, a barbie, a skate ramp......$8

Easy peasy

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I wish that you gave this to me on a mix tape...

Life would be different... Is different.

Monday, February 14, 2011

This is your Captain speaking

A conversation in part between our correspondent The Captain and yours truly, Isaw Isonn:

RE your midgets are growing. This might surprise you… did you know I saw Fugazi play live in Croydon in 1991? I don’t have many memories of the gig, but I was there. It was loud. It was full of passion. It was impressive. I was there.

Whaaaaaaat?!! BV is gunna love that story.

I might see if I can google a poster of the show. It'll be out there

EV's? Wow!! That almost tops Pavement at EV's and definitely tops Tumbleweed...

Sorry I didnt get to meet up the other day.
I wont have my bike back come Wednesday but if you are free'
we could meet up in the middle.

It actually wasn’t at EV’s (although they did play there in 1993). It was at… you’re not going to believe this… the Croydon soccer club clubrooms, near the corner of Mt Dandenong Rd and Norton Rd. I know it sounds incredibly unlikely… but I’m 99% sure I’m not making this up. The clubrooms were a short lived “yoof” venue known as The Hole. At the time Fugazi were playing only all ages shows (I’m not sure if they kept on doing this) and I went along as part of a short lived hardcore phase!
By the way, saw some old crew last weekend. I told them you were living in Toorak, making a packet from running a recording studio and last time I saw you you were snorting coke off a mirror in the toilets at Revolver.
Wednesday sounds good. I can ride to you if you’re bike-less. Let me know on Wed morning where & when you want to meet.

Pavilion, not the clubrooms, as such.
It’s true. I swear. 99% sure.

Your story is checking out so far

Well well well, Nursery Crimes were the main support.

Nursery Crimes included member James McInnes, none other than my high school
guitar teacher whom infamously fell asleep during my practical exam. That's right. I had my head tucked over the ridge of my Maton and was busting out the solo to 'right on the tip of tongue' when I felt lukewarm coffee dripping onto my thigh.

Like a pro I wrapped up the solo and bought it home with a resounding chorus, looked up to find James sounds asleep facedown in a puddle of Nescafe.

Upon finsishing, I politely tapped him on the cheek and told him I was done.

Great...sounds great pal. Sorry mate....had a gig last night, said James.

The year...1991. I wonder if it was the same show...?

…and if you want proof that I was at the aforementioned show, have a look at the kid stage diving at the 36 second mark… and again at 2:22 and 2:40. Is that not a 21-year-old Captain?

Nightclubs, mum and Mariah Carey

My mum, when she broke up with my dad started going to nightclubs. It was physically
painful for me. To know that whilst I was smashing hotdogs from Mr. Stengles outside
of Jooce on Maroondah Hwy that my ma could be heading home in a taxi with her friends and
see me waitng out front arguing with bouncers to let me in with my Blunny's on pleading that no they weren't steal caps
ya fat prick, now let me in or Im gunna spend the next 4 hours hanging around the back trying to find my way in through the gym's back door.
It's a waste of your resources man.... What's it gunna be?

Like I said. Physically painful. All of it

Anyhow, at the same time, one of mum's friends gave her this CD
and the front cover had the body of Mariah Carey on it and my Ma's head cut out poorly and pasted on.
Kerry's mix. On it was such gems as....ahhhh shit I cant remember what they were but it was a mix of
faux - inspirational tunes calling out to women to stand up to your man and dont take no for an answer. I dont know...
M People, Ace of Base, Mariah....90's.

Anyways....the CD lives down at our holiday house and the other day I put it on when noone was home.

Totally lost my shit to it.

All that she wants, here's another baby, she's gone tomorrow....

And so on.

Shelley Short at SMR

Sunday Feb 20th Shelley Short brings her absorbing, insightful tunes all the way from Portland, Oregon to the carpark out the back of Smiley Mcslidey. It’ll be her only Melbourne show.
It's confirmed there will be a barbecue, rumoured there'll be a skate ramp and if summer pulls it's finger out, a splendid day for you and I both.
Coffee is across the road at New Day Rising, and Shelley will be supported by Gary Olsen (ex Ladybug Transistor with a legend studded local backing band) Lower Plenty and The Sinking Tins, both of whom are northern suburbs residents and contain members of other bands you love.
So if you want to pop on your crocs and block half a lane of Blythe St with your Mazda 4WD, fuck off down to Ceres...otherwise come here. From middayish.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Pop Up Shop For Hire

Smiley Mcslidey is a pop up shop in East Brunswick.

Positioned right on the corner of Blythe and Nicholson Sts, opposite 3RRR and the very last stop on the 96 tram... it's positioned
perfectly for whatever you want it to be.

Yep. Smiley Mcslidey is a plain white room for hire.

Need to sell some shit? Wanna have a 24 hr tattoo shop?
Launch a calendar? Sell some jeans you made?
Show off some furniture you whipped up?
Flog some art you got a grant for? Have a little performance?
Stand still overnight for passers by? Have a garage sale?
Test your latest muffins on the public?
Project multi media images onto the front window like everyone else?

Shit, anything... Anything you want. For fuck all cash you can get your self a very sweet little space.

For bookings, rates and more info email
It's how they do business. Indirectly.