Wopsy

What a beautiful day! Wonderous clear formula for thought...A stiff southerly blows my hair northbound..And I must say I am looking the goods.

A young man yells out of his ute, get a real bike you fuckin shiela...Stunned out of my bliss, I return fire albeit a little late with, it's a family bike ya fuckin redneck. I look for brake lights..None forthcoming, we mark that one down as a victory. Best take a side street just to be safe...He's probably wondering why I returned fire with a compliment..

Round the back of Nichloson St faceless factories watch me cruise by cautiously. Them, not me. I am Isaw Isonn and there is nothing cautious about me. Pedal-mania here. Im gunna whip and strip all day. Watch me. A whip whip here and a strip whip there. Here a whip, there a whi

Shit. The ute. Faceless factory. Ute pulling in. Pale hateful face that hasnt seen the sun in so long sees me. Isaw Isonn. Dreaded calm comes over me. He's big and reckless and from the suburbs. I am too so I can spot em a mile off....Joe? Shit, I bet it's a Darren...Nickname..'Wopsy' The kind of nickname only a tough guy can pull off. Actually he cant pull it off, it's a name for a fuckin rabbit, but no one can tell him that. One guy did... I can see it all now.. Oustide the Shamrock...Biting ears off at the hot dog van, pounding flesh mate...My flesh!! He loves the taste of it.

By the time Isaw Isonn, whom by the way has had his cautiousness reinstated by the ute that looks like an over sized jetski cruises past, Wopsy is just getting out of his ute.

My heart is a fat banana...What was it my ma said about seeing that line in yer head and not crossing over it? Shit that was in relation to me mooning me uncle..Not gunna help now.

Silent cruising. Not looking but feeling the air around me....

Where'd ya get that family bike?

Ivanhoe Bikes. Free first up service....

Bracing for the stray piece of concrete to be hurled like a Croydon North long gully (youve lost your drive Wopsy), footsteps spaced together like a Lilydale seconds hack (give up the fags Woppers), I pedal like a goose doth paddle ...With incredible grace yet amazing efficiency...

Upon reaching the workshop, BV greets me with a packet of frozen peas at the ready.

I take a seat in the shop, and place them peas upon my burning thighs.

Time for a game mate? he says paddle in hand.

I got none..